~liebe-sie

Let me tell you how it works:

You spend hours, days, perhaps eternities lieing awake watching the glow in the dark stars, or else the minutes tick away on that digital clock that doesn't tick.
And it's too quiet, so you turn on the music. You turn it up. You turn it down. Off. On. Off.
Turn the tv on. Turn up the volume. Roll over, close your eyes. The light from the tv gets to you. Turn off the tv. Roll over again. You can't close your eyes anymore.

Turn on a light. Your picture frame is crooked. Get up and fix it. Lie back down. There is a stray sock on the floor. Get up, and put it in the hamper.

Go to the bathroom. Look in the mirror. Your eyes are too close together. Nose, too small. Mouth, too small. Forehead, too big. Focus your eyes. Squint. Scrutinize. Smile. Teeth not white enough. Brush them for the third time since dinner. Go back to your room.

Lie on top of your covers, facing up, your feet on the headboard. Close your eyes. Fall asleep. Wake up 20 minutes later, and almost fall of the bed.

Get up, get on the computer. Play solitaire. Check your e-mail. Sign off. Shut down. Go back to bed.

Get up to make sure you turned off the computer. You did. Go lay down. Repeat five minutes later.

Cry. Cry, cry, cry.

You can't breathe out your nose.

Wake up, sweating like a pig. You were asleep for.... 30 minutes. Roll over so your face is smashed into the pillows. Fall asleep 40 minutes later.

Wake up, scared. Look around. Turn on the lights, noone is there. Turn them off. Turn them on again to be sure. It's 3:53 AM.

Think about numbers. Add them. Subtract them. Multiply, Divide. Square root.

Wake up. 6:07 AM. the light is still on. Turn them off.

Wake up. 8:05 AM. Yelling in the other room. Bury your head between your two pillows, after retrieving them from the floor.

Wake up. 8:29 AM.

Wake up. 8:42 AM.

Wake up. 9:06 AM.

Wake up. 9:34 AM

Wake up. 9:54 AM.

Give up.

Spend 12 to 14 hours wishing you were sleeping.

Repeat.